War on Families

US Catholic bishops think the American family is under assault. I think they are right, and not just from same sex unions.

The Department of agriculture just announced the average annual cost of raising a child ranges from $12,290 to $14,320.  Young people saddled with staggering student loan debts are already deferring decisions on things like marriage and buying a house. Those who think about such things will wonder where they are going to get a half million dollars to raise two children to age eighteen, and maybe another half million or more to send them to college. The relatively large families of the past are simply not affordable for any but the most affluent. That we don't often see them even there speaks to other priorities but that is for another discussion.

Add cost to rampant divorce and teen pregnancy and the bishops are right to be concerned. The traditional family is being stressed. We are creating conditions where we will at the same time bring fewer children into two parent households, and more to single parents. That's not good. Not only do children need the two parents environment, single parent families are much more likely to be poor. Children may sometimes have to go without other things they need.

This is far more than a "values" issue. The most fundamental function of any society is to produce the next generation and prepare it for adulthood. The society that gets this wrong is dysfunctional and we are getting it wrong.

We aren't the only nation facing serious demographic issues. The decline in Japanese and European birth rates has been well chronicled. We certainly don't want to follow them down that road and our rising population has been a bright spot, even if much of it is due to immigration.

It seems to me we are seeing some of the same financial pressures on families that other developed countries have seen, and we have begun to see similar results. Shouldn't we all be asking if there is something we should do about it? Are there things we could do to encourage young couples to marry, stay married, and have children? Don't most people want that lifestyle? Is anything more natural? Are there things we could and should do to reduce the costs?

There are lots of places to look. Education costs have been rising faster than inflation for many years with disappointing results. There have been some promising innovations, particularly at the el-hi level with charter schools and vouchers. Less has been done with higher education. Too many graduates are coming away with far too much debt and near worthless degrees. That has got to change.

Urban living is showing some promise too. There are some interesting trends in the gentrification of what once were slums. Maybe we could encourage more of that, but careful. There have been a lot of spectacular failures in urban renewal.

I'm not sure government has much role to play in addressing the rise in single parent households, though education should certainly be a factor. Religious leaders could be doing more than they are, especially in preparing young people for marriage. We could probably all, especially media and the arts, do a better job getting them into church in the first place. This is a cultural matter more than anything else and it will need a cultural answer. It also appears to be uniquely American. I don't see it happening in other countries. 

We really need to address this issue. I believe it is, save only abortion, the great domestic social concern of our day. If we don't get it right America really is in long term decline. The weakened family will lead the way.